6 january 1997
the room is large, comfortable. the great bear circles it a few times, trying to concentrate, though he knows that the reason he is here is sitting in the corner.
very gently, he inhales, then exhales, his two amber eyes darting this way, then that.
'are you ready yet?' an even larger bear asks from his corner of the room. the first bear, silver streaks running through his hair, looks up, watching the other in the corner and replies in a deep basso voice, 'i'm not sure.'
'i'll wait...' said the larger bear in the corner. fascinated, the amber eyes dart over the seated bear, who seems not so much seated, as comfortably sprawled on the floor. one of the large paws is absentmindedly stroking a rather round gut, and he rakes his claws through the bear-fur as he smiles. now the bear in the corner belches, loudly, trying to release the gasses from earlier this evening...earlier this evening the seated bear [had] been instrumental in devouring a rather obese dragon, and now it is the turn of the large bear pacing to and fro. while the huge bear in the corner is busy, absentmindedly stroking his full stomach, he watches the other bear, whom he knows only as greywolfe, though he's heard rumours that greywolfe has more than one form. greywolfe is large, but not large in a firm, muscular sense, large in a fat, round sense.
he has two intense amber eyes, through which you can almost but not quite see his soul. his fur is almost alien in the bear kingdom, as it contains shades of both dark brown and silver, while the rest of him is pretty standard issue...well...apart from the gut. the seated bear doesn't want to do computations, but he figures that there's something close on 1500 pounds of fat bear in front of him. he remembers the obese dragon, smiles and burps. time, time, time. he certainly has enough of it, at least, until his gut speaks up again....greywolfe pads over to him and kneels, 'am i...' he begins softly, 'well...am i fat enough?' the last comes out in a burst, as if he's ashamed of who he is. the seated bear smiles, cocks his head to one side and says, very softly, 'come here...let me find out for you'. so, encouraged, the amber eyes make their way through the near darkness to where he is sitting.
[28 january 1998]
greywolfe drops to his knees and looks down, challengingly. he knows what's going to happen. he's been thinking about it for the past month now, has been giving the question of being dinner for this impressive bear much thought. he hadn't thought about the whole concep often, at least not until the larger bear in front of him had mentioned the possibility, had explained that it was his intention to make his impressive gut even bigger. he'd mentioned that he could either eat lots of food, [which he wasn't averse to] or take the shorter route, which was to eat other willing animals. greywolfe is one such willing animal, one of a line of many. for a little while, as he's kneeling, his head spins, the onset of a migraine.
there are lots of things he wants to get away from, and this might be the way out...a way to die legally. it's not quite suicide, though in a way it is, because he volunteered. maybe it's euthanasia.
he casts the thoughts aside. they're not what he wants to think right now. right now his main objective is to be an offering: a meal.
there will be time for contemplation later, probably in the dark hours between ingestion and digestion.
as he is busy thinking two *large* paws encircle his belly, stroking it softly, almost reverently.
[29 january 1998]
then the nose of the huge bear is in the air, sniffing. the paws withdraw.
'you want death, don't you?'
greywolfe lowers his eyes, doesn't want to see the curiosity etched on the other bear's face.
'i...want...' now that he has to say the words they won't come.
'slow down,' the huge bear says, patting a space in front of his lap.
greywolfe sits down there and two big arms encircle him, make him feel safe, protected. behind him the huge bear's tongue begins to lick at his head-fur, gently grooming him, licking the fear out of him.
'there's lots of things...things i want to get away from,' he begins.
'the things i've done...the people i've killed with my own two hands.'
saying those words greywolfe changes...shifts to a male human form. he can't be twenty years old. 'this is who i am,' he says, standing up.
the amber eyes fix those of the huge bear, no longer afraid. 'my name is nicodemus caine...sometimes i think i should be daemon caine.'
there's blood on his hands. 'i was an assassin.'
blood-tears well up in the eyes of the boy. that's all he is; a boy.
now the huge bear can see the cross on his forehead. it's a brand...this 'boy' has been branded like a beast. now the words fall from mr. caine's lips in a rush, as if he's not sure of what he's saying. 'eight years old, living in an orphanage. there's a swimming bath and i'm...swimming in it. then he's there, the priest. he's behind me, tall, slender, beardless, grey hair...and he rapes me, rapes me over and over again. until i can't feel a thing. thirteen now, running away, living in a college town, forged documents, forged everything. then the government catches up, offers me the job, repatriation they call it. i work for them, do what they say and they'll forget the forgeries...the world i come from is twisted metal, nothing makes sense. sixteen - university and the missions - crusades. orders to kill...' the voice drops to a sibilant whisper. 'and then the law, the /real/ law finds me. they pass their sentence and now i am part-human-part-bear-part-wolf. atonement. they call it atonement...'
the voice drops away. the wolf resumes the tale, in it's own characteristic, raspy voice, 'i told him to come here, because he'd be safe, but now he wants to die. there's nothing left for him to care for, nothing...'
the wolf pads up to where the huge bear is sitting, 'he says he wants to set us free.'
'how old is he? he looked like he must only be twenty.'
'he is...only twenty.'
'and the people that controlled him made him kill for them?' the wolf nods.
'it is not for me to judge the boy. he has made a decision and clearly he is sticking to it. are the two of you...the bear and yourself...are you alright with what is to take place here?' the wolf utters a simple 'yes,' and the transaction is complete. the boy re-appears.
'you will get your wish, nicodemus.' a little hand reaches out to clasp the huge paw. 'thankyou,' he whispers and for the first time the amber is clear and the huge bear can see peace... the huge bear reaches out and holds the boy to him, gently. 'you're not a daemon. you were abused repeatedly, but you're not ugly...and though i don't like your reasoning, your need to die, i will not dissuade you from it...if this is how you come to terms with yourself...if you find peace, then so be it.'
the boy nods.
for a while the huge bear just rocks him back and forth, soothing him, hoping, in a way, that these last moments will change his mind, but knowing that this is one of the headstrong ones, that this was his decision over a period of time, and that he isn't going to back away from the consequences.
there is a shift and greywolfe in boy shape is replaced by fifteen hundred pounds of large bear. very gently the huge bear begins to stroke greywolfe, running enormous paws up and down his back, running those same paws on the underside of the large belly...upon feeling that fullness the huge bear's member begins to go erect. he pulls greywolfe on top of him...buries his erection in the soft flesh of the large bear's underbelly, caresses his sides. from somewhere deep within himself, greywolfe manages some sort of muted passion, pressing himself down into the folds of gut. the huge bear's paws are gentle, tracing the topside of his back and then the roundness of his behind...
greywolfe is surprised to find that even in the act of being devoured, there is sensuality...a kind of grace, though he knows that the act itself has not yet begun. very gently the huge bear bids him to stand up, so he does...
he's quite unprepared for the handpaws that stroke his belly...and then the tongue that flicks it's way around his soft gut...he closes his eyes and bathes in the ministrations, feeling the paws tremble all over him, feeling himself harden.
the huge bear avoids his stiffness and instead concentrates on stimulating greywolfe even further, by lying him on his back and then stroking his rather large belly...impossibly the huge bear moves over him, on top of him and he is buried beneath more pounds of bear flesh than he cares to think about. when his breaths begin to come in ragged bursts, the huge bear rolls off him, caresses him softly, stroking his belly and sides, softly. grinning, very gently, the huge bear holds greywolfe's paw and says, softly, 'yes...i think you are fat enough....'
in the semi-darkness greywolfe blinks and smiles, glad to have found favour where he so desperately sought it.
he and the huge bear just lie together like that for a very long while, neither speaking, then, very gently, as if in a dream, the huge bear stands up and pulls greywolfe up to him. there is a gentle silence as the huge bear begins to massage the amber-eyed bear, kneading his soft contours so that he's relaxed...when the huge bear is satisfied he puts both arms around greywolfe's waist and tugs him closer...
for a few seconds greywolfe can feel the huge bear's breath on his face. it's warm and smells of something alien, something that he doesn't readily recognize, but which he knows about, 'dragon?' he asks, stupidly.
the huge bear grins and pats his belly...'in here,' he says.
[30 january 1998]
and then, unexpectedly, he belches.
greywolfe nods and says 'oh,' he feels a bit silly for having asked the question, but it's done now...the huge bear doesn't look down at him with scorn.
with the lightest of touches two large paws reach out for his face, touch it, stroke it tenderly. then a large tongue is licking him all over...it starts with his lips and then works it's way to his eyes and then down, all over his body, pausing for a long, pleasant while at his gut...effortlessly, but slowly he is dragged down to the floor, while the large tongue and paws continue their ministrations.
now the paws are playing with his belly...making patterns, shapes, releasing the butterflies, but at the same time causing his member to stiffen again.
'you taste sweet...' the huge bear rumbles, pleasantly. then, quite without warning, the large mouth opens and its tongue begins to lick at greywolfe's hardness. it's strange for the amber-eyed bear...his member isn't so much caressed by that hungry mouth, but by the large tongue, which encircles his sheath and begins to induce rise after further rise...
[31 january 1998]
his amber eyes close and he pushes himself toward the raspy tongue, wanting to release himself to the huge bear, but then the moist warmth disappears.
'not quite yet,' the basso voice rumbles, 'you'll know when...' and greywolfe smiles, because he has an idea of what the huge bear is after.
gently, the caresses continue along with the warm deep voice of the other bear, talking to greywolfe, getting his trembling to subside, getting him to be still and relax.
[8 february 1998]
and slowly, very slowly, greywolfe's heartbeat slows down to a slow, patient beat and his quivering dies down. it's at this point that the huge bear kisses him, lightly, tongue forging forwards into his mouth, paws stroking his sides. the huge bear releases him for a moment and asks, very gently, 'are you ready?' greywolfe doesn't open his mouth to speak, his eyes speak volumes for him.
he's as ready as he's ever going to be. so, slowly, the huge bear lifts him up, wraps his paws around greywolfe and begins to finish the kiss he started. the tongue reaches inside of him, caresses his own tongue, while the paws stroke him softly. the large mouth opens up even more and now greywolfe can feel the pull, reaching up to reel him in. it's a very gentle tug now, but he can imagine that it will be irresistible soon, like trying to swim against the flow of some of the rapids that he's bathed in, only there will be no rocks to bump against this time around.
he returns the kiss as best he can, feeling, even in reciprocating, that the huge bear's mouth is no longer locked around his own, but has extended up and is now tracing his cheeks. afraid, he puts his paws into the paws of the other bear, who holds them tightly and squeezes...'do not be afraid,' the squeezes say, 'do not be afraid...'
he holds onto those words, knowing that to show fear is to back away and he has come here precisely because he is sick of backing away. the mouth opens wider still and begins to tug at his nose and the undersides of his eyes. not hesitating now, he offers them up, going so far as to slip himself further into the waiting jaws. the paws squeeze, as if the bear wants to smile, but can't, since his mouth is full.
greywolfe closes his eyes when they are engulfed...there's darkness here, nothing he needs to see...his ears are tickled briefly and then the warmth of the large mouth is surrounding them too...he wonders if the huge bear will choke on his fur, but gives it no further thought as the top of his head slides in after his ears.
he'd probably be lying on the floor now, in warm bear-spittle if that was the case. something that he doesn't understand is at work here, but he isn't sure he wants to question it too far. the pull gets stronger, more insistent, the further he sinks down into the other bear's maw...pretty soon he can feel his neck being stroked by warm lips...and still those paws hold his own tightly...'don't be afraid.'
his eyes are closed, but he feels his head slipping down into the other bear's throat...very briefly the paws leave his own as he feels them caress the throat, relaxing it so that it'll open wider. afraid, his own paws flail for some sort of security, until he finds the other bear's chest, which is solid, comforting. as soon as the huge bear has his throat relaxed, the pull becomes insistent again, but at least there are comforting paws to hold his own. as if his devourer is apologizing, the paws stroke his own gently, 'i'm sorry...i should have warned you first...' he fails to hear the strokes as actual words...words inside his head until the huge bear repeats them, softly and adds, 'you can hear me, can't you?'
shocked, greywolfe opens his mouth to speak, but is thwarted by many streams of saliva running down the huge bear's throat. 'don't try to talk normally, it doesn't work...for either of us. use your thoughts, your mind. we're linked now in a...well...predator/prey relationship, i suppose.'
greywolfe squeezes once. he understands.
'ok...' he thinks...then, inadvertently, 'why...don't you choke on my fur? all of that going down should just about kill you...? there's a soft rumbling, almost a laughing noise. 'the predator/prey relationship extends to that too. you could do no more to harm me, than i could do to harm you, i'm not entirely sure of *how* the bond works, but i have to be careful with you, or you...well...prey law...advocates that you take revenge...drop little bits of fur, or big, gaping balls of it, as the case may be, to either trip me up, or kill me. i have to respect you, as you do me.'
'oh,' is all greywolfe can think to reply. he knows it's a stupid reply, but can't come up with anything more deep and meaningful. very gently, his shoulders are caressed as the huge bear's mouth opens up wide, again. he feels his paws lifted upward as his position alters slightly, now his shoulders are almost, but not quite surrounded by the warmth of the other bear's mouth. there's a sort of ripple effect as his whole body inches forward, further down into the waiting belly. the pull is so strong now that he knows he shouldn't even bother to fight it, so he just surrenders. 'This next part,' the thought begins, 'which involves your shoulders, chest and belly, is by far the most difficult bit, but once that is over it's merely more swallowing and you will have got what you wanted...'
the paws surrounding greywolfe's press tightly. 'do not be afraid...'
the huge bear's mouth opens wider than greywolfe could possibly consider normal, as his shoulders are enveloped in warmth and then *pulled*.
the pull travels right through, to where greywolfe's muzzle is sinking down, beyond the huge bear's chest. eyes closed, head tilted to the side, greywolfe hears the huge bear's thoughts as he hums a gentle tune, and squeezes both of his paws.
now he can feel his arms and the top half of his chest being coated with the warmth of the huge bear's mouth. as if his body has been taken over by something he cannot see, his nipples go erect as he goes down, which triggers reactions all the way down his body.
powerful arms lift him into the air and very suddenly greywolfe is totally disoriented. the only way he can keep track of direction is because he knows he is going into the gut of the other bear head-down, but the tug is strong and the paws that were holding him, comfortingly, have now released him...impossibly the huge bear-mouth just gets bigger as it starts to swallow down his own sizeable belly. it is here that the pull stops, while the huge bear rakes his paws through the gutfur of his meal's belly, stroking it softly, exploring it.
there's a rasping sensation as the bear's tongue roughly makes it's way into greywolfe's belly-button, licking and then sucking. after what seems like hours, the pull resumes and the mouth engulfs his large stomach,
[25 february 1998]
pulling it down into the waiting maw...all the while greywolfe's tension mounts as his nether regions respond to the softness coating his body. embarrassed, but knowing there's nothing he can do about it, he senses his erection graze against the huge bear's mouth... 'sorry,' he thinks, 'god, sorry...'
'what are you sorry for?' the thought comes back, almost instantly.
the paws stroke his own softly, intimating amusement, 'you find the idea of being swallowed...well...an erotic one?'
'surprisingly, yes...i came to die and found life, fertility...' the huge bear swallows and thinks back, 'even in death there is something...an essence maybe, of life.'
there are images in the huge bear's head, images of blood, of people dying...
'i don't call that life,' the little voice replies, ashamed.
eighteen. a boy not much younger than you were when the priest came is running through the flames, clutching a teddybear and screaming. he launches himself through the front door. oh god, they've messed this one up more than you want to think about. the father comes out, fat, bearded, burning.
'now, now, now,' without thinking you raise your hand and squeeze. your eyes close in concentration. you can feel his heart beating in your hand, you can feel his heart beating in your head.
'jesus, jesus, jesus...' you push.
'which hell do you belong to?' you think.
then his blood is on your hands. down near the burning house the big man sinks to his knees, the terror on his face mixed with surprise, he's survived a burning house only to be cut down by a heart-attack...that's how they'll record it...a heart attack, and i killed him. and i fucking killed him.
you look down and feel the boy's eyes burn into you. murderer.
you're up not four houses away looking down at the man who is meant to die.
yes, he probably has a family too, but he's causing the world grief. that's why he has to die. that's why they all die, ultimately.
maybe you could screw this one up, but no...your superiors would know and this...this menace would still be free. so, as much as you want to let him go, have a family, have a life, you know you can't and you won't. you've never balked at orders before. you won't now. you close your eyes and believe.
left hand goes up into the air like a dance step. push to the right and air is displaced. the man below falls into the pool. poolside now splashed with cold water, cold water against warm stone. if i keep thinking of the minutiae, if i keep thinking of the amoeba, i don't need to be concerned about what's happening in
the bigger picture. push.
the amoeba can't come out of the goo it's trapped in. you impose a physical barrier between it and the real world. not too harsh now. he has to look like he's drowned...the official report. accidental drowning.
you wait until you can't hear his screams in your head. murderer, fucking killer...wife comes to the window, looks down, looks across. for an instant your eyes meet and you want to bury your face in your hands and cry.
but god and the government and the /law/ [whispered in hushed tones] don't listen. you want to give up and die.
[26 february 1998]
twenty. the world is falling apart.
for the first time you've felt something terrifying, something huge reach out and grab your mind. you're like a rat in a cage, want to get out, want to get out, throw yourself against the bars and scream. the man you've been sent to assassinate is something you don't recognize.
the /law/ has found you. they've sent you to die. you're too much of a threat to the people you work for. today is the day you work for your freedom...or die.
his mind reaches out and touches yours and ohgod the world is spinning, turning, reeling out of truth and mind and space and time and god doesn't
you pant like a wounded animal running down a maze, neon lights flashing past you as the man with the head of a jackal and the body of a human runs after you. you can't see his dark muzzle against the stark light, but you can see his amber eyes and the white robe he wears. he seems to sail in the robe. no tripping, no falling.
his mind bores into yours and suddenly you're not running, you're sprawling on the ground. inches away his muzzle is looking for your neck, looking for...you claw at him, but it does no good, the /law/ has found you and now they are going to pass sentence. and pass sentence they do.
two fangs bite into your neck.
and i'm not the killer for once. god, i'm not the killer for once.
as the blood leaves your neck something drips into you and replaces the spilt grains of life...you scream, no squeal, as your body shrinks, changes, and you're a wolf.
you're a shapeshifter now and will live out your course obeying the /law/, only killing what you're called to kill by nature, not by design.
the instants pass. the huge bear sits down, heavily. 'i understand,' he thinks, the words floating into greywolfe's head, 'you don't want to be the killer anymore...you don't want to bring this kind of pain to people anymore?'
'yes,' greywolfe whispers, forgetting where he is, 'yes...i need you to help me forget.'
the huge bear hesitates, 'maybe forgetting is a bad idea.'
'a bad idea? no...i killed those people...that's not something i can live with any longer.'
'it was who you were. you shouldn't forget who you were...you're different now. you've grown out of that...what you did was a vocation; you didn't get called so much as chosen...maybe the government were wrong for not finding out if you *could* deal with the pressure/responsibility. but it was your line of work...' greywolfe nods, the huge bear is right, even if it was work with the sword of damocles hanging over his head it was...what he'd done. he didn't have a choice and, if he'd had one, he would have chosen something different, but the option wasn't there.
[27 february 1998]
'it doesn't make it any better...the killing, i mean...' 'no...i know that,' the huge bear whispers in his mind, 'but at least you can possibly forgive yourself for what you did...have you ever done that?'
'Forgiven myself, you mean?'
'i've...' and then the tears come, coating the huge bear's throat with their warmth. greywolfe continues, even though his thoughts echo his trembling, 'never...forgiven...i've...always, al-al-always felt...responsible, li-like i was paying the priest...back.'
'you can't...he's gone now. he always was.'
greywolfe goes silent, but the huge bear can feel his tears, so he reaches out with his mind to caress the boy, in the shape of greywolfe, to soothe his pain...if he'd known all of this before...but he didn't, and he gave his word.
he knows he has to give this little one the thing that he's never found. he has to give him peace and he understands that peace equates to death for this particular boy, nicodemus caine, who is also greywolfe.
shouldn't confuse the two.
when greywolfe has finished shedding his tears he gives him time to relax, to slow back down. then, gently, he asks, 'do you want to continue, or do you want to stop?'
greywolfe pauses, but the huge bear can feel the resolve flowing through his body. 'i came this far, i'm not backing down now.' the huge bear nods. he'd expected this. the little cub might be broken, but he was also tough...strange how he'd gone from thinking of him as a large bear and instead now envisioned him as something smaller.
'no more shame.'
with those thoughts he begins to caress the large bear's penis with his mouth, causing it to stir and then become erect...'no more shame.'
sensuously, greywolfe tightens the muscles of his behind so that he can thrust upwards, to where the mouth can reach him better, take him in. miraculously the huge bear's tongue manages to work it's way around his gut and down his side, behind his arms and down his back until it's reaching in between the twin cheeks of his hindquarters. that tongue causes greywolfe to inch forward, drawing him further into the open mouth. now his penis is covered in warmth and saliva which coats his member and sometimes drips down into his foreskin.
the saliva itself hurts him, but the pain is something like an electric shock.
before he'd been content to slip down the bear's throat, but now he has the use of his paws back and he's ready to use them to drag himself down into the large gut of the huge bear if necessary. beginning to take a more active part in his own devouring, greywolfe begins to thrust his hips and midsection into the maw of the huge bear, arousing his penis even more than it is already...in the confined space between greywolfe's belly and the huge bear's mouth his sheath begins to expose it's red tip, swollen as well as dripping with pre-ejaculation.
swallowing hard, the huge bear works the top half of greywolfe's chest into his throat...the huge bear knows only too well that that large penis will snag on something and, as sensitive as it is, it'll twitch for release. that release will speed up the process of swallowing considerably, since it'll act as lubricant, allowing the vast bulk of his meal to slide down effortlessly, instead of slowly, painfully, so he plays with the member of the other bear constantly.
greywolfe responds by stroking the inside of the throat he is in, pushing it wider, coaxing it to get ready for his rounded belly, since he knows that's going to be the most difficult part of this journey.
the huge bear's paws leave his to stroke his waiting gut...it's always been big before, but after this meal...absentmindedly one large paw drifts down to his own member as he imagines how soft he'll feel when this is done. this image in turn feeds greywolfe and his thrusting member begins to drip a constant but small stream of pre-ejaculation.
trusting to instinct, greywolfe invites the large paw to stroke his own member, so the huge bear complies, opening his mouth and gently touching the tip of the erection he can't see...then he begins to stroke as the large bear bucks in his mouth... 'now...'
and with that a river of ejaculation runs down the belly of the large bear and drips past that and on, down, into his belly...he feels it land with a soft thud, but oh lord, how satisfying that thud is.
'spread the ejaculate into my throat, press your gut into my throat...make sure that you can come down easily...this is where things literally get slippery.'
greywolfe doesn't reply. he merely does as he is bid and that feeling of the soft bear-belly rubbing against the back of his throat causes the huge bear to begin dripping his own copious stream of pre-ejaculate, but he won't release his seed now...maybe when the satisfying weight of the large bear is dragging him down, causing him to sit...or maybe lie...maybe then.
the huge bear drags his tongue back to the top half of greywolfe, tasting the semen on his belly and occasionally licking his penis clean...right now the whole back surface of his throat is slippery and as he caresses the bear in his mouth, the whole large mound begins to inch downwards until the top half of its legs are nearly sticking out straight ahead, in front of him...he runs his paws all over them...they're big, but not strong...the way he likes his meals.
greywolfe's midriff has reached the insides of his throat and he can feel the bear's head nearly at the pit of his stomach...'nearly there,' he whispers, then, 'what's it like?' 'warm...mostly...like being in a womb,' greywolfe responds, as he reaches out and paws at his gut from the inside...this tickles a little but is not, by and large, an unpleasant situation.
the huge bear stretches his throat muscles, waiting for the belly to come down, and then, like an amusement park ride the back half of the large bear is tearing down his throat, using both the velocity and the lubrication from the ejaculate to slide down... now the large bear's legs are halfway down.
now his hind legs are sticking out of the maw.
now his hind legs disappear, but with those shifts come the large gut, which he struggles to breathe past...so he massages his throat, coaxing it wider still. when his throat muscles relax, he can feel the bulk of the large bear drop down and hit his waiting belly.
greywolfe begins to re-orient himself, placing his feet below him and his paws at the front of the stomach he is in...very slowly he places his muzzle and paws against the warm inner-lining and presses forward...the huge bear smiles, rubbing the roundness. at about the same time as his large paw is caressing his fullness, his paw inches downward...he knows what ejaculating is like with a full belly and now he wants to do just that.
in the darkness greywolfe feels activity as his position is shifted. now he is lying down, because he assumes the body he is in has done just that too.
nuzzling against the soft belly he feels the paw outside of it and licks...
forgetting for the moment where he is, just knowing that it is warm and very safe. haven.
as the outside begins to rock around him with thrusts he recognizes and grunts that boom inside his head, he begins to feel something soft working at his flesh...a gentle sort of embrace begins all around him, taking his particles and making them part of the huge bear.
with the tingling he feels something inside of him go...he can't explain it.
it's just something that leaves his body and for a little while he feels empty and small, but not terrified.
the huge bear strokes himself first into hardness then into action, bucking in the place where he's lying and watching the white stream ooze from his other orifice. he could almost think of it as saliva...and indeed, he has engulfed other penises with his own before, but this is not the same.
the full feeling in his belly engenders a kind of quiet frenzy in him, as if this might be the last time he feeds...and feeding for him is a life-in-death cycle. for him, spurting his seed onto his belly is part of the life, but knowing that he is absorbing the other creature goes hand in hand with that. it strengthens *his* life-cycle. it is in the process of losing his semen that the emptiness assails him...that two *spirits* seem to leave his body...it is then that he feels what he thought he might, the little bundle in his stomach is smaller now, man-shaped. he puts his paws to his ejaculate-coated body and strokes it, gently, reassuringly. as he is trying to calm the boy within him, the two spirits walk through the door and kneel at his feet. two pairs of amber eyes look up at him and smile a thankyou.
he has done what he was asked and, as a favour in return, two pictures come from the mental library of the boy inside of him.
father clementine is wrapping presents, when, all of a sudden he doubles up in pain. god is taking him away. god is being unfair. you won't let god take a good man away from you. he's the only one you know you can trust...
suddenly he's awake again. alive again.
i am not the killer.
you look over at his silver hair, lying matted on the carpet and his wide brown eyes and smile...not knowing what will come later.
near sunset. you're in the centre of a grove of trees, the light shining down on you in patches...you're curled up in front of the tree with the tear-shaped abrasion...it's the first and only time you've known peace. until today.
[25 february 1998]
[welcome to the beginning of the end of the beginning.]
[27 february 1998]
[authors note: i've chosen to put this note at the end for a reason. when i started writing this on 6 january, i wasn't sure of what was going to come out. it turns out that this isn't quite as straight-forward a piece of vore as i wanted it to be. it's probably the longest [and only] piece of vore i'm ever going to write, simply because i think i've taken the subject and explored what i wanted to with it.
the protagonist, greywolfe, is based on a character i play on a muck. a lot of his background is the same, and a lot of his reasoning is the same as well.
you see, where nicodemus caine [the human fragment of the protagonist] comes from, the world *is* twisted metal. things fuck up. usually more often than he'd like them to. that last assignment with the shapeshifter was essentially his undoing and reformation all in one go [dying and resurrection, if you like.] but undoing isn't forgetting. so, in his new home he walks around with the memories of the boy in the fire and the woman at the window...and probably many others that aren't mentioned here...all of that drove him [and his two guides] to seek the answer...which, for him was death. only he wasn't sure of what kind of death would set his other fragments free, because the animal kingdom [in the case of this story] is an odd one. since the animals are by-and-large sentient, they also have the reasoning capacity of humans. this, quite naturally, might lead them to commit suicide, which isn't something nicodemus wants for his other two thirds. they might not get the escape they desire. hence being eaten.
so much for that. why'd it take so long?
well...when i originally wrote the first half of the story in january, i'd never had a vore experience in my life and i didn't know what it was going to be like. it had been suggested [by the huge bear of the story, but he and this incarnation of him are quite different] that i *might* make a decent meal for him as my fat bear in the muck. i thought it over for about a month, but i never really got the time to explore the issue, at least, not until i got back from my holiday.
somewhere in february was where a very gentle stag showed me the basis of what i was getting into, explaining how it worked and what was done and all the rest of it...he nearly swallowed me, but i didn't have the time to finish what we'd started. in the course of experimenting with vore i had a bit of a bleak period as far as writing this story was concerned. it wasn't that i didn't want to write it [because i did] but rather, i got blocked. *that* was when i began to build a bigger story than just the vore story. in essence a story within a description. it went slowly, but i think i quite like the final product... it's not something i'm sure i'll be able to repeat, but it works, for me. *shrugs*
hope you liked it [and if you didn't, what are you doing reading this far, anyway? :p
[further note:bastardized version:17 april 1998] many thanks to sagebear [my editor] who read it, bastardized it and didn't freak out at the subject of the story...
for issues of clarity the eater of greywolfe got bigger[tm] mostly we just substituted the word huge for every instance of the word large...
other cosmetic changes were made, but nothing that'd really make it look too different from the unbastardized version...
oh yeah, the novelty concept for today, boys and girls is: handpaws...sagebears bad idea...or good idea...or something...
copyright © 1998 nicodemus caine/julian comley/greywolfe.
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