(cue ominous music)
7:15 PM, SOMEWHERE...
Ihate Faggs was sitting at his computer, drunken and hateful as usual. He had just finished spamming up another message board with nasty bigoted lamer posts, when the doorbell rang.
"Razza friggin' frazza stupid gay fuck damn faggot damn fart damn..." Faggs mumbled as he left the keyboard and answered the door. He was greeted by a large, bearded man who looked like he had walked right out of the pro-wrestling circuit. However, this particular gentleman was dressed rather sharply in a three-piece suit.
"Good morning, Mr... Faggs, is it?" the man asked in a deep, booming voice.
"Yuh. Whutcha want?" Faggs managed to reply, though he was visibly shaken.
The big man continued. "My name is Bosco. I'm with Voicenet, your internet service provider. I've come to inform you that, due to misuse of your on-line privileges, your account is being deleted."
"Furthermore, to ensure that the problem will not happen again, and to prevent word of your abuse of the Voicenet service from reaching the public, where it may generate mistrust of Voicenet, I have been instructed to destroy all evidence of this little fiasco. This includes you, your house, and all your belongings."
"The FBI has already erased your personal file. You officially do not exist, and have never existed. Your property is scheduled for demolition, and I am going to eat you alive."
"EAT me?!?! You can't do that! I've got rights."
"You have no rights, Mr. Faggs. You have no idea how high up this goes."
Then Faggs began to feel very, very afraid. He backed away from Bosco, looking for some way to escape. But it was no use. Bosco very casually strode over and picked up Faggs by the collar, hoisting him up several feet off the ground. With one hand, the Voicenet operative began to deftly remove the smaller man's clothing. Soon, the terrified Faggs was completely naked, trapped in Bosco's iron grip and paralysed with fear. Bosco opened his mouth inhumanly wide and forced Faggs' head inside. Slurping noisily, Bosco gulped his victim down whole. All Faggs could do was wriggle helplessly as he slid down Bosco's throat and into his huge belly.
Bosco smiled and rubbed his full belly. He loved his job.
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