Red vs. Redd: A Re-Write

By Redd [Email]

Well, I don't know how The Wolf would do with it, but this large lupine would re-work it, thusly;

NOTE: To avoid any confusion, Little Red Riding Hood is an anthro fox in this story. Can you guess who is playing the Big Bad Wolf? :)

Little Red Riding Hood was skipping down the forest path on her way to visit her Grandma. After about a mile, she came across something strange; a large wolf with white fur and funny red markings on his shoulders was hiding behind a fallen tree, staring intently at something in the distance. Curious, Red quietly walked up behind the big wolf and said;

"My what big eyes you have, Mister Wolf!" Suddenly, the wolf, startled, jumps from where he was crouching and ran off at full speed. The little vixen stood there for a moment, watching the white wolf go crashing through the brush, then said to herself, "My, he's certainly in a hurry!" Red then continued skipping on down the path.

Further down the road, Little Red Riding Hood once again encountered the wolf. This time, he was hiding behind a large boulder, still staring at something in the distance. Red decided that she would try to get the wolf's attention again. As she did before, the vixen quietly approached the wolf from behind, and said;

"My what big ears you have, Mister Wolf!" This time, the wolf spun around, growled at Red, and stomped off, practically knocking down a small tree in his path. "Well, that wasn't very nice, Mister Wolf!" Red yelled after him, as she began down the path again.

By this time, the wolf was furious. He had spent all morning tracking a deer for lunch, and every time he got close enough to make a run and catch it, that rotten little fox brat wearing the red hood and cape had snuck up behind him, yelled out something stupid, and scared it off! This, plus the fact that his stomach was practically tying itself in a knot from hunger pangs, was driving him almost insanely mad! "If I ever get my hands on that rotten little vulpine," he snarled, "I'm going to... to..."

He paused, and slowly a devious grin crossed his face. "Yeah," he thought to himself. "I know exactly what I'm going to do." With his plan already set in his mind, the wolf began jogging back toward the path.

About 2 miles away from where she last met the wolf, Little Red Riding Hood stopped. There was the wolf, leaning against an oak tree next to the path, a big toothy grin on his face. "Hiya, kid," he coolly said.

"Oh, hello, Mister Wolf," the fox said cheerfully. "You're not mad about me scaring you before, are you?"

"Oh, no. Not at all," the wolf said as he slowly walked toward Red, the big smile still on his face.

The little fox looked at the wolf curiously for a moment, then said, "My, what big teeth you have, Mister Wolf!"

By now, the wolf had moved within arm's reach of Red. "Oh, really? You think so?" he playfully inquired. "Well, perhaps you'd like to see them close up!"

Almost instantly, the wolf's arms shot out and seized Red. Before she even had time to scream, the wolf had lifted her up, opened his large jaws, and stuffed the little fox into them, headfirst. As Red began kicking her legs wildly in a futile attempt to escape, the wolf tilted his head back, and began swallowing his catch.

Slowly, the vixen's body slid down the length of the wolf's muzzle and disappeared into his throat; he was deliberately taking his time, and enjoying his meal. As Red's waist got halfway down his muzzle, the wolf grabbed onto her legs and stopped then from flailing around, to make sure her digitigrade legs wouldn't suddenly kick back and stab him in the eye with a claw on one of her paws. The last thing he needed was to lose an eye over a mid-day snack.

Once her legs started entering his mouth, the wolf relaxed his throat muscles, allowing the small vulpine to just slide down slowly. When he was able to close his mouth, only the black-ringed white tip of a fox-tail provided any evidence of the red-hooded nuisance that had cost him a venison lunch. The wolf casually tucked the tail tip into his mouth, and with a final hard swallow, pulled Little Red Riding Hood into his stomach.

The wolf leaned against the oak tree and slid down the length of it to the ground, placing a hand on his swollen belly. The pesky little fox was satisfying, all right, but hardly a decent lunch for a large wolf such as himself. Then, he noticed the basket Red was carrying laying on the path. 'Maybe there's some decent chow in there,' he thought, and he slowly got up, picked up the basket, and examined the contents.

Nothing but junk. A package of crackers, a can of diet soda, two granola bars... 'Who in their right mind would eat this garbage?' the wolf thought. He was about to throw the basket away when he noticed something else inside. It was a map of the forest paths; a blue crayon line was drawn to a big X marked "Grandma's House". The wolf licked his chops and thought to himself, 'Maybe this day won't be a total loss after all,' and started on down the path to meet Grandma for a lunch date.

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