Joining the Club

Matt and Lisa entered the pizza shop and were ushered to a secluded booth in the back. Lisa had been acting weird ever since he had picked her up at her house. They had been going together for about a year and this was to be their anniversary dinner. They sat there for a minute looking at each other fondly. As Matt reached for the menu, Lisa covered his hand with hers.

'Don't' she whispered, 'I know just the thing to order.'

The waitress arrived and looked questioningly at Lisa.

'One small Ultra-Special for two and two cokes' she said showing her lapel pin to the waitress, who nodded and walked off.

'What's a Ultra-Special?' he asked. 'And what's with the pin? I've never seen that one before.'

She just smiled at him and started making small talk. The waitress returned quickly with their drinks and they both sipped at them. The waitress returned again with a covered pizza tray. She put it on the table and looked at Lisa again. Lisa gave a quiet shake of her head, and the waitress left. Matt reached for the cover but Lisa stopped him.

'Do you love me?' she asked. 'Do you really love me?'

'Of course I do.' he replied playfully. 'I'd do anything for you, you know that.'

He took off the pizza pan cover and dropped it on the table, then turned back to the pizza.... and froze.

Stuck to the pizza here and there were tiny people! Live people!

Correction, half the pizza had tiny men on it and half tiny women. The obviously terrified people stared up in horror and started to scream.

He watched her slide a slice from the male side out of the pan and onto her plate, where she proceeded to blow gently at the slice to cool it. She then started to lift it to her mouth and he jumped up.

'What's Going On?!' He stammered. 'Those are real people on there, you can't just eat them!'

'Of course I can, I'm hungry.' she slid the end of the pizza, with a tiny man on the tip, into her mouth.'Mmmmm' she murmurred.

The man tried to struggle free but the melted cheese held him fast as her lips closed over his shrieking form and he vanished into her. Her soft chewing was clearly audible to all. Then the other tiny people redoubled there hysterical writhing.

Lisa looked at Matt pleadingly. 'You said you loved me. This pizza place is part of a very exclusive club network. I brought you here because I love you too, and I offered you up for membership. You passed all the other requirements and now all you have to do is enjoy the clubs benefits.

Matt slowly picked up a slice of pizza with wailing women on it. He could here them begging and yelling at him, though her couldn't understand the words. They were just too small. He looked at Lisa as she finished her slice and started on her second.

One of the tiny men managed to shake loose and dropped to the tabletop, where he lay stunned. Lisa plucked him up and looked at him curiously, then she dropped him into her mouth and closed her eyes. She rolled him in mouth for a moment and then swallowed him whole. She opened her eyes and looked at Matt again.

Matt slowly lifted a piece of pizza with struggling women on it to his face. Now he could hear them begging him for mercy.

He looked at Lisa as she bit into another slice, leaving half a screaming man behind on the slice.

He put the slice down and stood up. 'I'm sorry, Lisa. I can't be a part of this. This is wrong and if this is how you get your jollies, then maybe I'm not the guy for you. I'm outta here.' and he threw down his napkin and stalked out of the parlor, not caring about the tears in Lisa's eyes.

Outside, he staggered a bit from nausea, and then realized something was wrong. He blacked out as he fell to the pavement.

When he opened his eyes, he was laying on the the pavement next to his car... and he was totally naked and shrunk!! Echoing booms as the ground shook caused him to look up. The waitress was walking toward him with Lisa in tow.

'See? The drug in the Coke shrinks them, but is counteracted by the drug in the pizza.' the waitress explained, 'Only he didn't eat the pizza, so...'

Lisa looked down at Matt sadly. 'You really should have eaten your pizza Matt. But don't worry, you still get to join the club. See you tomorrow lover.' she said as she picked up his car keys.

Matt started screaming as the waitress smiled and lowered a tupperware container to the ground clearly labeled... SPECIAL TOPPINGS

Matt continued to scream as she reached for him.

The End

 

24.12.09