Three Billy Goats Gruff

Whelp! With the thanks of Rodent who helped with spell checking this thing, here is my story. I'm no writer, but it's not the worst I've done. :-)

Once upon a time there lived a troll. Now, everyone knows how ugly trolls are with their yellowed, fanged teeth; breath that could knock the pads off a wolf's paws; head grossly too large for their hairy neck; and hands and feet that ended in blackened, wickedly curved claws. Well, there was one such troll who lived under a wooden bridge that led to a lush grassland, fertile and full of life. But this troll was HUNGRY! It had been months since last he feed.

As he picked his yellowed fangs with a talon of one of the many unfortunate beasts to end up in his belly, he thought back at his last meal... A young boy, about 15 years of age and his dog. What was that dogs name again... Lassy, that was it. The boy was playing ball when the ball was kicked across his bridge. As the boy went across the bridge to retrieve his lost ball the troll had jumped in front of him and eagerly started to swallow him, feet first. All through the swallowing, the boy was calling for his dog to help him and just as the kid's head disappeared down the troll's maw, the dog had arrived. Crazed with rage at the death of his master the dog had attacked, but the large troll simply picked the dog up and swallowed it too. In fact, as he reflected, the dog had tasted even better than the boy but with a bothersome after affect as the troll had been spitting up hair balls for the next 4 days. But that was months ago and he was ravenous. That night he dreamt of a nice plump meal....

He awoke to the clip-clop of cloven hooves overhead. He quickly sprang up to confront the intruder/lunch. His mouth immediately started to drool as there standing before him was a little goat about as tall as his knees. She had sharp bright eyes and a beautiful coat of fine white fur with black stripes running down her back and a fluffy little tail swishing in fear behind her.

"HO" Called the troll. "I'm the troll who lives under this here bridge and I'm going to eat you up!"

The goat, quivering a bit in fear backed up a step. "Hello Mr. Troll. I just want to cross to get to the lush grass over there. I am but a mouthful for you but my elder sister is coming soon. Much larger then I. Why waste your time and ruin your appetite when she will be coming right along?"

The troll, dimwitted as all trolls are, thought this over then nodded, letting the little goat pass. It takes a lot out of you to swallow a live creature and he worried about not having the strength to take on the little goats sister when she arrived. The small goat smiled then clip-clopped across the bridge and disappeared into the tall grass.

About 3 hours later the troll heard the clip-clop of even larger hooves above him. He jumped up in front of the larger goat. True to the little goats words, this one stood up to his belly. Coarse brown fur covered her body from head to hoof and had 2 small horns pocking from her blunt head. She looked back at the troll with dark eyes filled with surprise.

"HO!" growled the troll drooling already. Already his jaws tingled in anticipation for this fine hoofed meal, "I'm the troll who lives under this here bridge and I'm going to eat you up!" He took a step towards the goat, huge clawed hand ready to grab the nervous animal.

"Hello Mr. Troll" said the goat. "I just want to cross to get to the lush grass over there. I am but 2 mouthfuls for you. My brother is a full 2 times my size and will be here soon. Why tire yourself on scrawny old me when you could have him?"

The dimwitted troll thought this over. The little goat had told him the truth, so it would only make sense that this goat was also true to her words. And after swallowing this larger goat he seriously doubted he would be up to taking on her brother, so he nodded his head and allowed the larger goat to cross. She smiled as she clip-clopped pass him and disappeared into the tall grass.

About 2 hours passed, an eternity for the hungry troll, when he heard the clip-clop of huge cloven hooves above him. The bridge groaning under the weight. The troll immediately jumped on it's bridge and found himself eye to eye with the largest goat he had ever seen and his jaw tingling a bit at the thought of being dislocated that wide. The goat stood as tall as he! A full 6 feet! He had midnight black hair and eyes so deep red they where almost black. Large curved horns shot from his skull and his cloven hooves where as large as his own large flat feet.

"HO!" Grinned the troll "I'm the troll who lives under this here bridge and I'm going to eat you up!" And he took a step towards the giant goat.

"Oh?" Inquired the large goat, quirking up a black brow. "It that so.. I believe you have it backwards there Mr. Troll!"

And with that the goat took a step towards the troll and opened his jaws wide. Before the dimwitted troll could fathom what was going on, the goat grabbed the trolls large head in his unhinged jaws and swallowed. The now struggling troll cried out as the goat opened it's mouth even wider taking in the troll's shoulders, saliva covering the troll's hairy body. The goat then kneeled on his front legs and used the troll's standing body to help push him into it's now bulging throat, ignoring the troll's pleads.

With a grunt of effort, the huge goat lifted his head and the troll up in the air and let gravity help in the completion of his meal. The kicking legs of the troll slowly slid deeper into the goat's painfully expanded throat till only the troll's huge clawed feet remained. The goat stopped for a moment to catch it's breath, absentmindedly licking the troll's feet and looking around, wondering where his sisters where. They had this all planed from the beginning. They where to cross, telling the stupid troll of each other and get safely across. Then he was to take care of the troll once and for all as they watched. His sisters got a great turn-on watching and where always in the mood for foreplay when he finished satisfying his strange exotic taste for live food... Predators.

But this time, as he looked over the troll's now wet clawed toes, they were nowhere in sight. He sighed. The timing must have been wrong he thought and thus no chance for his foreplay. But he'd worry about that later, he grinned as he went to finished his wonderful meal. The troll's feet, now almost pink with the licking of the goat's course tongue, toes wiggling, slowly entered the goat's mouth. He tilted his head back once again and the feet where caught in the goat's throat muscles as he swallowed one last time. The feet where pulled down to his waiting belly. He realigned his tired jaws and shook his head, spraying drool over the bridge as he trotted across, his neck drooping and his huge full belly littering dragging on the ground as he entered the tall grass, calling for his sisters.

A few yards away, orange unblinking reptilian eyes followed the huge goat's movements. Forked tongue flickering as the huge python tasted the air. His belly showing 2 bulges, one smaller then the other. The python, grinning, droplets of clear drool dripping from his scaly lips, slowly and silently slithered after the goat. The larger of the 2 bulges lightly kicked, until succumbing to her airless, acid filled tomb. A moist tomb with just enough room for one large goat with a troll in it's belly. . . . .

 

06.06.09